Project Hope for the Children Inc.

Posted on March 24, 2024March 24, 2024 by adelerickerby

Curious, I emailed Ramona Petrella Cummings, Founder and Executive Director of P.H.F.T.C.Inc. and asked her to tell me some things about her charity. This is her reply;

I moved to România în 2003 for a six month tour, working under a non profit organization in their private orphanage. During my time there, I was introduced to the local pediatric hospital where social babies who were either orphaned or abandoned were warehoused. I was told I could do anything I wanted to with the babies , but the hospital had nothing to aid with their care for me to use. No soap, no disposable diapers, wipes, creams, formula etc. I wrote home and asked my supporters for funds to buy these basic baby essentials and $750 came in. I started buying supplies and with the help of two friends we bathed, lotioned, changed, fed, and loved on these little ones. Many screamed at human touch or at bath time or just being lifted out of their cribs. It wasn’t initially very peaceful or happy, but after several weeks we started to see a difference. After returning home, I decided to keep trying to raise money for this cause and that found me returning every 6 months to work with the babies and buy supplies for the hospital. Soon, other people and foundations started helping in the hospital and I partnered with them by giving them supplies to work with. I turned my ministry into a non for profit about 9 years ago or so.

Social babies are what the children are sometimes referred to when they are in and out of government care, abandoned, and require social services’ help.

Initially, the abandonment was caused by extreme poverty, lack of jobs for women, Italian men fathering the children and abandoning responsibilities after finding out their girlfriend was pregnant. Mainly, it was due to it being ingrained in the Romanians heads that the communist government took care of things like this. Ceaucescu the dictator, forced people to have children and if they couldn’t care for them they were to put them in institutions for the government to “help” raise. It just became a way of life. The Roma population and their culture also adds to the abandonment issue, with young girls being married off at early ages and having children into poverty and ignorance of mothering. That is mostly the issue now as România is becoming more prosperous and the new generation isn’t ingrained in communism.

Ramona Petrella Cummings, Founder and Executive Director, P.H.F.T.C.Inc.

P.H.F.T.C.Inc. collaborates with and assists several Romanian Foundations working with the Roma and abandoned children, one of which is; Forget Me Not Ministries Co-op. We heard from Rachel Ross, Executive Director, Forget Me Not Ministries Co-op. This is what Rachel said;

From what I remember from conversations with government social workers in the hospital when we would have 100 abandoned babies or so at a time…they would not classify them as abandoned or social babies as they were not legally “abandoned” as in their parents had not signed away their rights. So, that was one way that they could deny having an abandoned baby crisis or issue…technically…they were not abandoned…even though some had been there for quite some time. But that was back in the day.

The majority of the abandoned children are Roma (gypsy).

Yes, poverty is a main factor in the cause of the children being abandoned. Over 90% of the Roma face unemployment, so providing for their families can be quite difficult.

Also, I believe it is a mentality that is left over from communist times as well, when families were encouraged to leave their children with the government and were taxed on having fewer than 5 children. Many Roma families that we have worked with do not consider that they have “abandoned” their child when they leave them in the hospital and are almost offended when I suggest that. They often think of it as receiving help for a few years with their child until they are in a better financial position.

The only real government assistance I know of is the children’s allowance which parents receive monthly. 718 lei for children up to two years old and 291 lei for children between two and eighteen years old. 718 lei converts to $156.00 U.S and 291 lei converts to $63.00 U.S.

I do not know of any extra assistance for single mothers, only extra allowance if your child has special needs.

I can say that I cannot think of too many moms at all that are single in the Roma community at least. In their community, it would be incredibly unsafe to stay single and oftentimes they will subject themselves to any kind of relationship, healthy/safe or not, in order to have someone to provide for them and protect them.

Rachel Ross Executive Director Forget Me Not MinistriesRomaniafmnministries.org

Photo credit; With permission to use from Ramona Cummings facebook page. Have a look at their facebook page, which will also direct you to their website.

The Child of Your Heart

Posted on July 7, 2023April 7, 2024 by adelerickerby

From New Zealand to Australia, from Australia to Romania, this is one incredible story of finding your children.

Words by Jessica Kramer, Editor @Ruth Magazine. Summer 2021 Edition.

In these days of social media, support and community groups for adoptive parents are going strong. As little as ten-fifteen years ago, unless you happened to have a friend already who was also going through the adoption process, it was much harder to find other parents going through the same circumstances.

Now, however, is a completely different story-and it’s thanks to these strong on-line communities that the term ”the child of your heart”, has been coined. Adele Rickerby, author of ”The Promise I Kept”, explains the term with visible feeling; a biological child is born of your body, but an adopted child is born of your heart. It was a long journey that united Adele with the child of her heart in Romania thirty years ago, and was the catalyst for writing her memoir. ”I kept a diary when I was in Romania, and I wanted to keep the historical context, the family of origin context. I would wake up in the morning with whole sentences in my head and the pressure would get so great that I would have to write them down,” she explains.

While many people have a rosy picture of adoption, Adele and Loredana’s journey was far from easy. Adele had travelled halfway around the world to Romania, alone in an impoverished country recently torn apart by the revolution, confronted with the living conditions of families and of children abandoned in overflowing, understaffed orphanages. It was there she found a baby, Loredana, who had been in the orphanage since she was a week old, writing in The Promise I Kept, that the infants gaze seemed to say, ”Finally you have arrived. I have been expecting you, waiting for you”.

The voyage wasn’t over then, however, with the adoption needing to be legalized through the Romanian justice system before Adele flew back to New Zealand for the final adoption papers before arriving home in Australia. Because of the nature of International adoptions at the time, and the ill-timed news breaking about illegal adoptions from Romania shortly after Adele returned home with her daughter, she faced rumors about the nature of Loredana’s adoption and wanted to set the record straight. ”I felt I needed to write the book to respond to criticism that I had done an illegal adoption or had “bought” Loredana from her birth mother, Adele says. “Health issues forced me to retire early, but also gave me the opportunity to write my memoir.”

The Promise I Kept was originally published in 2013, but a recent reprint has seen it regain popularity once again. “I regretted not putting photos in the original version of the book, and I had seen iconic photojournalist Tom Szalay’s photos in journals and magazines. He collated photos of Romania for me and I added some personal ones.” It wasn’t an easy book to write, but Adele describes the process as therapeutic all the same. “It was hard to write the first time, hard to write the second time. But it was like when I was in Romania and had to get on the train alone- it didn’t feel like I was being brave at the time; I didn’t really think about it. There was this real sense of urgency so I just did it.” She says.

The Promise I Kept 2020 Revised Edition is available on Amazon as a paperback or kindle.

”Come Find Me” a Documentary by Noriflorentina Vito

Posted on April 2, 2023April 2, 2023 by adelerickerby

This film depicts an authentic journey of the heart.

A very brave woman searches for answers as she seeks to uncover the truth about her adoption from Romania and to find her birth family.

Following the Romanian Revolution of 1989, Western media uncovered approximately one hundred thousand abandoned children living in institutions where death, disease and abuse were the norm.

Parents from countries such as England, Ireland, America, Canada, Germany, Australia and New Zealand, travelled to Romania to adopt these children in the hope of giving them a better life.

In the early 1990’s, there were estimates of approximately 1,000 children a week being adopted internationally.

Many of these children were not orphans but were abandoned by their parents due to poverty.

The surge in International Adoptions led to widespread unethical practices, corruption and human trafficking.

In response, the Romanian government implemented stricter adoption laws and regulations and subsequently introduced a ban on International Adoptions in 2001.

This ban was lifted in 2005, but the process of International Adoption from Romania is long and complex and restricted to couples where one of the couple is Romanian or single women who are Romanian.

Link to watch the story below:

https://www.pbs.org/video/come-find-me-bz3tpj/

The Promise I Kept; 2020 Revised Edition.

Posted on October 23, 2020April 19, 2024 by adelerickerby

Promise I Kept 6×9 text_21.09.20(updated)

#love #family #amwriting

Newly updated for 2020, This revised and updated book documents Adele’s experiences with her daughter since the book was first published in 2013, and Adele’s ongoing involvement in highlighting the plight of Orphans in Romania. In 1991, unable to have a second child because of a medical problem and struggling to cope in a failing marriage, New Zealander, Adele Rickerby, decided to take her future in her hands by adopting a child from Romania. The misguided policies of the recently deposed Ceausescu government on family planning had led to the birth of an estimated 100,000 unwanted babies in that country. The Promise I Kept is Adele’s story of her nightmare journey halfway around the world to find and adopt a baby, to negotiate her way through the barriers created by red-tape and corrupt officialdom, and finally to carry her tiny new daughter safely home to a life where she could be properly loved and cared for.

Toni Tingle, Mereo Books, an imprint of Memoirs Publishing, Gloucestershire, U.K

Orphan advocacy and child welfare in Romania; Community facebook page; thepromisekept.co

A heartfelt autobiographical work, The Promise I Kept chronicles the journey to adopting a child from post cold-war Romania. With incredible honesty, Adele shares her lifetime with Endometriosis and the resulting surgeries, her amazing first daughter, Melannie and the desire for Melannie to have a sister- leading to the decision to adopt and a difficult trip to Romania to meet baby Natasha and bring her home. It is a book that is equal parts relatable and eye-opening, at times confronting, but ultimately showcases a woman’s incredible determination and love for her child.

Review; RUTH Magazine @RUTHmagazineAustralia · Magazine

Copies are available to borrow or purchase from the following sites;

Dunedin Public Library, New Zealand, Heritage Room Collection.

Brisbane City Council Libraries

South Australian Libraries

Trove, National Library of Australia; https://trove.nla.gov.au/

Amazon, paperback, or kindle edition.

Please also see the link above to the pdf (text only) of the 2020 Revised Edition.

Even the Sparrow has Found a Home, by Thomas B. Szalay

Posted on May 17, 2020February 25, 2023 by adelerickerby

https://www.magcloud.com/browse/magazine/1072551

This memoir, by photojournalist, Thomas B. Szalay, reflects on his journey into the lives of Izidor Ruckel and other abandoned Romanian children.

”Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young-

a place near your altar, Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

Psalm 84;3

Born to Defeat

Posted on March 27, 2020December 4, 2023 by adelerickerby

Born to defeat; the incredible life story of the young man raised at the orphanage and who now provided a warm meal for the homeless of Bucharest.

Story by Ramona Raduly. https://life.ro Stories to Inspire. Society and Culture.

Gabriel Ciubotaru was born the day after the devastating earthquake of 1977. He opened his eyes to the world for the first time in a near ruined Bucharest, and this was to predict his destiny. His mother was an artist, the father an airline pilot. His father died in an airplane crash. When he was just ten years old, his mother also died from the rottenest of the Communist regime; she had been diagnosed with an extra-uterine pregnancy that had to be aborted, but for this, a commission was needed and abortions were not allowed at that time. Until the answer came, his mother died, and after this second great tragedy, Gabriel was taken to the ”Children’s Home”.

His years of school and adolescence were sprinkled with everything, and good and bad, but he grew up, learned, finished College and a Master’s degree and now helps the little ones. He founded the Association; ”Your Chance” with which he carries out many good deeds projects, but the dearest of his soul is ”A Warm Chance”, with which, for more than eight years, he provides a warm meal to the homeless of Bucharest.

An incredible story. A true story that could one day come to the page of the book ”Born to Defeat”.

”What does a day in your life look like today?”

”First of all, I don’t think that there are any significant differences between my program and those of other people, more or less ”N.G.O’s. This list probably sounds familiar to you; sleep, healthy eating, family, career, sports, reading, writing, travel etc. What is different from what I did five years ago is definitely a much better organisation, which helps me to better distribute the twenty-four hours of my life.

The sun shines above my house, I start my day with optimism, I carry out all the procedures I do in the morning, after which I eat and start work; I answer emails, I read correspondence, I answer telephones, counselling, conferences, meetings with collaborators, etc.and we solve the cases that come or are being finalised, I visit the social centres, I go to get donations from where people want to donate. Depending on the day, we prepare various projects, but the evening comes quickly over us. And because the summer is much longer, I have time to walk on the forest path, to relax and to think about my life.

I still visit the beneficiaries; for example today I was with a father and four of his ten children to see their mother in a penitentiary. I also read Ionut Ursu, the young man raised in an orphanage who has been volunteering in Nepal for five years. How did a child who, until he was eighteen, was told that he would die of A.I.D.S to build the first dental practice in Nepal?

”What are your current projects?”

A Warm Chance, Smile From the Box, Camp of Your Life, Requirements for Your Future, Helmut Schlotterer Social Centre.

”What is the dearest, closest project to your soul so far?”

The project ”A Hot Chance”.

”When you were a child, what did you dream of doing?”

My dream was to be a driver for salvation, to save people, but with the time and experience gained, I could say that I fulfilled this dream to help people. I didn’t think then that I could do so many things. Now I want to be a man to help people and to fill my parental void- the lack of a family, helping those in need. If you are not well anchored in your values, you may be living the dream of someone else, (society, parents, friends, boss.)

”What happened to you at the orphanage?”

After my mother’s death, I went to the orphanage called St. Stephens Children’s House. It has now been abolished. There were one-hundred children, each with his life story. Relatives took me there. They probably couldn’t afford to keep me. I was in school, in fourth grade in Sector One when my mother died. At the orphanage, we tried to organise the birthdays of my colleagues every month. We went to camps, we also had difficulties with the biggest ones who beat us. The desert was a luxury for us, fearing that the bigger ones will take it. But I was running from the placement centre and going to hospitals, and the doctors were protecting me and I was admitted for a few days. When I returned, they didn’t take much notice of me, because I told the Director and I was running away.

I learned a job, I finished school, we had good educators who helped us with lessons, they were beautiful memories. When the holidays came, then I was suffering, because most were leaving to go home and nobody came for me. I kept wondering if, as far as this big world was concerned, there would be no family for me. I was crying and calling out to God.

The Revolution came, the foreigners came with help and I started to grow. To grow old and to forget about the lack of family. We changed the room with furniture from donations, we dressed differently, we received oranges, we made juice. We slept six-eight children in a room. There is a lot to tell and I have not yet found anyone to help me finish my book ”Born to Defeat”.

I was organising trips. I remember that I went to a Children’s Centre in Busteni where there were three hundred children. I talked to them and it was an exchange of experiences.

”How were your school and teen years?”

The years of school and high school are unforgettable; full of joy, smiles, ears, emotions, years when I was part of a great and wonderful family. I remember with fondness the first day of school when, full of emotion, I went to class together with the teacher, a second mother to me, full of warmth and kindness, who loved us enormously and did everything she could to help us. She was the one who showed us, for the first time, with great patience, the magical powers of the pen, and the one who helped us choose the best path in any challenge we had. Even though I was in the more energetic group and I was upset about the lady teacher, she always had the power to understand us and to forgive us very easily. The day I finished fourth grade was full of strong emotions, both happiness because I was starting a new chapter in our lives, and sadness due to the separation from the lady teacher. I remember how many hugs, flowers and tears there were.

For me , the hardest stage in my life was in grades V-V111 and in High school when I felt alone in the world. But I learnt, worked hard to get somewhere, despite the obstacles in life. Thus, with the beginning of 5th. grade, I embarked on a new adventure of my life. We were all scared and curious at the same time. The years of Highschool proved to be wonderful and I learnt a lot of new things. Each teacher took care to teach us both lessons related to the subject taught and life lessons. I remember with joy the wonderful teachers we had, with all the defining gestures, how to teach and make us easily understand what they want to teach us and all the passion they had, each of them for own matter. I was forced to change High school but I quickly made friends. The school was in the orphanages yard, and my bedroom was facing the school yard, a wonderful view; I could see when children were leaving or coming to the school, and when the yard was filled with children, I was motivated to learn and to move on.

In school, I connected with beautiful friends. We were surrounded by two different worlds- children from families and those from the placement centre. I was watching and seeing the differences. Even though the children in the families were poor, they were more educated, but we from the centre were happier because we lived permanently in the community.

But the nucleus of life forms in the family. I did not understand then that there is another world.

”Who trained you to become a man today?”

People come and go from your life. Many special people have passed through my life, but some people remain for the rest of my life in my heart and mind. Every person who goes out of your way puts a brick in your character. It is not one particular person who trained me, it is a labyrinth of people, from my mother, educators, teachers, my aunt, to new people who came into my life after I opened the ”Your Chance” Association. Several doors opened to me. I got in touch with another kind of people, more responsible, serious. Also, every thank you from an orphan child or a child from a poor family has given me hope to move forward, change destinies and train at the same time.

I can remember a few people; my wife Gabriela, my aunt and my niece, Casiana Fometescu, Carmen Stoica, Diana Milea, Andrei Stan, educators, Mrs Mihai, Physics teacher, Aikido coach, Mr Grigorescu.

”When did the idea of helping sprout in your mind?”

A psychologist told me that God has put in me a special seed, to help people, because not everyone can do this because it is difficult to work with people. I liked to help as a kid, even though I grew up in an orphanage. After ’89, I was a volunteer at various N.G.O’s, such as YCC Romania,(Love and Home for Children), UNICEF, Ovidiu Rom, Alinare Foundation, etc. I was involved in all kinds of projects, from building houses, painting and offering clothes and accessories to counselling etc.

”And why do you do that?”

I help because I feel good about what I do, it’s a lifestyle, a passion, like medicine or other specialities, it’s a calling. By doing good things for others, your self-esteem will increase and you will have the satisfaction that you have given, that you give people a chance to be more responsible and to value your help. When you help, you take the burden of the beneficiaries soul, but give it the power it needs to recover. You can be an example to others and try a state of joy and fulfilment. Because when we help, we can make amazing things happen by pushing those in need to be happy.

”What is your motivation?”

When I give, I feel happy, and especially when I see others happy. As I am connected to the needs of poor people, with those who want to help, I am glad that I can be a bridge between the poor and the helpers.

”Were there times when you cursed your fate? Or on the contrary, do you thank God for living and being healthy?”

I thank God for giving me this opportunity to move forward. It is not easy. There are all kinds of obstacles in life. I had moments when I was about to give up, but Heaven always lifted me up and gave me the power to move forward.

”What’s your biggest regret in life?”

My regret is that I didn’t have my parents near me to see how I grew up and be satisfied with myself. I can’t speak well in words, but I think life gives you a lemon and you have to make lemonade. I was pleased with what I had and my regret is that I am too open and exposed to less good people. I can make mistakes but I also learn something from it every time.

”What makes you happy?”

If you fail to make a lifestyle out of being happy, because happiness is from God. It activates according to your state and your involvement in helping others. Let me throw away all the useless things and keep only the essentials. To read and learn new things, not to upset anyone and see happy people.

”What does ”Your Chance” mean?”

The Association ”Your Chance” was born from a desire to give a chance to everyone in need. To be a chance for both the people who want to help and for those who receive. Why is ”Your Chance” the expression that gives you the power to move forward even if you are going through difficult times in your life? Because we all have a chance in life and it’s a pity to waste it and not use it to do good.

http://www.asociatiasansata.ro

Barnabas Ministries Romania

Posted on October 16, 2019February 26, 2023 by adelerickerby

WHAT WE DO

KIDS AND TEEN OUTREACH

Two weekly outreaches are held where they have the opportunity to learn about Jesus Christ and to develop a good support group of Christian friends their age.

CAMPS

Numerous camps are held during the summer in the isolated village of LAZ.

Kids, teens and adults are able to get away from all distractions and concentrate on God.

ADOPTION

There are over 57,000 children in Romania, living without parents in State institutions. Many grow up dreaming to be accepted and adopted into a family.

We work to encourage Christian families in Romania to adopt. By sharing and making aware this huge problem.

As Christians, we believe it is our duty to look after those in need!

THE UNSEEN

We are the hands and feet of Christ.

God has blessed us with energy, resources and possibilities to reach out and lend a helping hand.

Counseling, standing up for the weak, helping a need, keeping a family together… whatever God opens our eyes to and puts on our heart, as Christians we believe it is our responsibility to take action.

Although many times some things we do may be unseen, God knows and always provides wisdom, resources and ability.

“Our vision is to see happy, healthy children and successful Christian families raised up in Romania!

— Barnabas Ministries, Sebis, Romania

WHAT WE’VE ACHIEVED

1993 – Barnabas Ministries was formed and outreach to the elderly and poor families began in Brasov, Romania.
1994 – Church planting and Orphan care work began.
2001 – Land was purchased in Sebis, Romania for the construction of Casa Ezra orphan and ministry center.
2003/2008 – Construction of Casa Ezra
2008/2009 – Weekly children’s and teen’s outreaches began at Casa Ezra.

2009 – Oasis of Love, kid’s camp was started and the first camps were held.
2011 – Advocacy for adoption began and a family of five children were re-united at Casa Ezra. (These children were eventually adopted by the Hurrelbrink’s after a difficult adoption process lasting seven years.)
2017 – Property was purchased for the future Community/Outreach Center in Sebis, Romania.
2018 – The Community Campaign to finance the building of the Community/Outreach Center was started.

Andreas Elgard; Voluntariatul

Posted on February 26, 2019February 14, 2023 by adelerickerby

Screen Shot 2020-03-16 at 07.13.21 Abandonat în spital de la 4 săptămâni, Andreas este unul dintre cei mai inteligenți oameni pe care îi cunosc și mă bucur tare mult să văd tineri ca el încercând să facă România bine. Face voluntariat de la 14 ani și luptă din răsputeri pentru drepturile copiilor din centrele de plasament. Din păcate, războiul cu autoritățile este unul lung și crâncen. Dar el nu se lasă, tocmai pentru că știe foarte bine toate abuzurile care se petrec în sistem. Statul român i-a refuzat dreptul la o familie, educatorii mușamalizau abuzurile sexuale din centrul în care era plasat și o mulțime de alte nereguli de acest fel. Iar normal ar fi ca astfel de lucruri să nu se mai întâmple. Pentru că ele încă au loc și în 2019.

Vă invit să descoperiți povestea unui tânăr de doar 24 de ani care a demonstrat că se poate. Astăzi e președintele Consiliului Tinerilor Instituționalizați din România, expert recunoscut internațional în drepturile copilului, în echipele ONU și SOS Satele Copiilor, dar și formator de asistenți sociali.

DaddyCool: Salut, Andreas. Spune-ne puțin despre tine. Cine ești, la ce vârstă ai fost abandonat și cu ce anume te ocupi în prezent?

Andreas: Salut, Robert! Sunt un tânăr de 24 de ani care încearcă să facă bine pentru semenii săi. Am deschis ochii în sistemul de protecție a copilului, adică sunt în sistem de la 4 săptămâni. Practic, de la naștere.

Lili, cea care mi-a dat viață, m-a abandonat imediat după ce a ieșit din spital. De la spital am fost tranferat la leagănul de copii din Timișoara, iar de acolo am fost transferat la Casa de Copii nr. 4 din Lugoj, județul Timiș. Am „locuit” în acea casă de copii până la vârsta de 4 ani și 6 luni. Țin minte că am fost transferat la Checea în Decembrie, 12 decembrie 1999. De atunci casa de copii nr. 1 din Checea este casa mea.

În prezent sunt asistent social, formator și lucrător de tineret. Din Decembrie 2017 sunt președintele Consiliului Tinerilor Instituționalizați, structura națională de reprezentare a copiilor și tinerilor abandonați din România.

„Regret că am cunoscut-o pe cea care m-a născut și m-a abandonat la ieșirea din spital. Nu sunt supărat pe ea. Nu cunosc sentiment pentru ea.”

DaddyCool: Ți-ai cunoscut vreodată familia sau vreuna dintre rude?

Andreas: Da, mi-am cunoscut. La vârsta de 14 ani am cunoscut-o pe Lili și pe mama ei. Am vorbit cu administratorul fundației „Siguranța pentru Copii în România” și l-am rugat să mă ajute să o găsesc pe Lili. Îi cunoșteam numele, dar nu puteam să asociez numele ei cu o față de om. Am cunoscut-o într-o zi de Sâmbătă, la prânz. Nu era acasă, dar a fost chemată urgent ca să își cunoască băiatul abandonat. Așa îmi zicea mama ei.

Regret că am cunoscut-o, nu ținem legătura. Nu pot să zic că sunt supărat pe ea, nu pot să zic că o urăsc sau, Doamne ferește, că o iubesc. Nu cunosc sentiment pentru ea, poate că nici nu vreau. Îmi este bine fără ea. Dacă 24 de ani nu m-a căutat, nu vreau să forțez nimic. Un lucru este cert, copiii mei nu vor crește în casa de copii! Promit!

„La duș ne era frică să mergem pentru că băieții mai mari ne atingeau și ne abuzau sexual. Educatorii știau, dar aveau nevoie de ei ca să se <ocupe> de noi cât stăteau la țigară și cafea!”

DaddyCool: În ce casă de copii ai crescut?

Andreas: Am crescut la casa de copii nr. 4 din Lugoj și la casa de copii nr. 1 din Checea.

La vârsta de 4 ani am fost transferat la fundația „Siguranța pentru Copii în România”, în comuna Checea. Aici, în fundație, am fost sprijinit să mă descopăr, am fost încurajat să învăț și să mă dezvolt. Am crescut în condiții mult mai bune decât la Lugoj, unde eram 120 de copii îngrămădiți în camere uriașe, în paturi cu etaje și în frig.

Mâncarea era cea mai de preț. Toți copiii ascundeau colțuri de pită sub pernă. Ne ascundeam jucăriile ca să nu fie furate. La duș ne era frică să mergem pentru că băieții mai mari ne atingeau și ne abuzau sexual. Educatorii știau, șefa de centru știa și ea, dar aveau nevoie de băieții mai mari ca să se „ocupe” de noi cât stăteau ele la țigară și la cafea. Așa că era legea junglei în centrul de la Lugoj.

DaddyCool: Ce ai schimba în acest moment la România?

Andreas: Cred că aș schimba din funcție pe toți șefii de instituții cu o vechime mai mare de 8 ani pe post. Oamenii aceștia ajung să creadă că instituția este a lor, că ei pot să facă legea acolo și, mai presus de toate, ajung să creadă că ei sunt dumnezeii copiilor abandonați.

Aș muta focusul de pe angajații din sistem pe copiii din sistem. Aș crea un mecanism de dialog între copiii și tinerii abandonați și autoritățile locale, județene și naționale, în vederea îmbunătățirii calității vieții copiilor abandonați din România. Măcar atât să facă cei care trăiesc pe spatele nostru!

„Adesea rămân fără lucruri de care am eu nevoie, ca să îi ajut pe alții…”

DaddyCool: Care sunt, pe rând, calitatea și defectul tău cea/cel mai mare?

Andreas: Cred că defectul meu este că nu pot să refuz să ajut pe cineva care are nevoie de ajutor. Spun asta pentru că adesea rămân fără ceea ce am eu nevoie ca să îi ajut pe alții. Nu știu de ce, dar așa este! 😊 Calitatea mea, hmm, nu m-a întrebat nimeni până acum. Nu știu să îți răspund. Îi las pe alții să răspundă la întrebarea asta.

„Mă inspiră oamenii cu O mare. Oamenii care înțeleg să facă bine un sistem, dar din interior. Tu ești unul dintre ei, sincer.”

DaddyCool: Cred că inteligența și perseverența sunt calitățile tale mari. Mie îmi place tare mult și spiritul tău justițiar. Te inspiră cineva în acest moment?

Andreas: Ooo da, ești unul dintre ei, sincer. Cel mai tare mă inspiră oamenii cu O mare, oamenii care înțeleg să facă bine un sistem din interior. De exemplu, domnul Ștefan Dărăbuș – Directorul „Hope and Homes for Children” sau Rita Pierson – o directoare de școală din USA care a spus la TEDx că „toți copiii au nevoie de niște campioni”. Așa este, campionii mei sunt Marianne și Dr. Lutwig Herbold, oamenii care mi-au oferit o șansă pentru o viață mai bună, dar și Eva și Fleming Elgard Jensen, familia daneză care și-a dorit să mă adopte, însă statul nostru minunat de tâlhar mi-a interzis asta!

Nu o să uit expresia judecătoarei. Era așa de fericită că mi-a făcut rău și, practic, mi-a interzis dreptul la o familie.

Din fericire, Familia Herbold mi-a oferit o șansă și m-au luat la Checea. Ei mă inspiră zi de zi, ei mă încurajează să îmi finalizez studiile de masterat și să mă înscriu la doctorat!

DaddyCool: Ce s-a întâmplat cu procesul de adopție? De ce nu a mai avut loc?

Andreas: Statul român a decis să interzică adopțiile internaționale. Practic, au decis să interzică un drept fundamental, dreptul la familie. Trebuia să fiu adoptat de familia Elgaard Jensen din Copenhaga, Danemarca. Am fost la ei foarte des, voiau să fiu băiatul lor. Aveau deja 2 băieți, ambii studenți, unul la Medicină și celălalt la Drept. Aveau o situație bună și voiau să mă adopte. Bunica daneză a suferit foarte mult, ea își dorea să fiu nepotul ei. A decedat la scurt timp după ultima mea vizită în Copenhaga.

DaddyCool: Cine te-a îndrumat cel mai mult/ cel mai bine pe perioada copilăriei/ adolescenței?

Andreas: În perioada copilăriei, nimeni. Nu țin minte să mă fi ajutat cineva să depășesc trauma separării de familia Elgard Jensen, familia mea din Danemarca. Totul s-a întâmplat atât de rapid, încât cred că am dezvoltat un fel de mecanism de reziliență. Am acceptat faptul că nu o să îi mai văd. La Checea, nemții – cum le spuneam noi, s-au ocupat ca să nu ne lipsească nimic. Ne-au creat un mediu apropiat de cel dintr-o familie normală.

În adolescență m-a ajutat foarte mult doamna psiholog de la fundație. Este un om foarte apropiat de noi toți. Tata Dani, administratorul fundației, m-a ajutat foarte mult să mă focusez pe un drum în viață. Voiam să fac foarte multe lucruri, eram împrăștiat și m-am pierdut încercând să îi ajut pe alții. Nu m-am ocupat de mine, încă mi-e greu să mă pun pe primul loc, dar el m-a ajutat cu sfaturi și mi-a redat încredere și stima de sine. M-a sprijinit să plec în schimburi de expriență în țări din UE și asta m-a ajutat să fiu omul de azi.

„Voluntariatul înseamnă o serie de oportunități de dezvoltare personală. Am învățat o mulțime de lucruri care mă ajută acum. Sunt omul de azi fiindcă fac asta de la 14 ani.”

DaddyCool: Ce înseamnă voluntariatul pentru tine?

Andreas: Voluntariatul a însemnat pentru mine o serie de oportunități de dezvoltare personală, dezvoltare de deprinderi și de viață independentă.

Odată cu începerea liceului la Timișoara, am început să fac voluntariat la Fundația Student Plus de acolo. Îi învățam limba engleză pe bunicii din Academia Seniorilor, am fost implicat în proiecte europene și am învățat o mulțime de lucruri care mă ajută și acum.

A urmat Consiliul Local al Tinerilor Timișoara, unde am fost votat președinte al comisiei sociale. Apoi m-am implicat în alte proiecte europene. Astfel, în anul 2017, am fost angajat la Fundația Județeană pentru Tineret Timiș ca formator. O experiență foarte frumoasă. Am învățat într-un ritm alert să scriu proiecte europene, să susțin cursuri/ seminarii și am fost implicat în echipa care pregătea candidatura orașului Timișoara la Capitala Europeană a Tineretului. Apoi am fost ales Președinte al Consiliului Tinerilor Instituționalizați și m-am mutat la București pentru a mă ocupa de CTI.

„Vreau ca toți tinerii din sistem să își cunoască drepturile pentru a se apăra de cei care vor să le facă rău! Asta mă motivează!”

DaddyCool: Ce anume te-a determinat să începi să ajuți copiii din medii defavorizate și alți oameni care au nevoie de ajutor?

Andreas: Din nevoia și dorința de a schimba câte ceva la sistemul de protecție a copilului din România. Mă bucur că am reușit alături de echipa mea din CTI, dar și alături de partenerii CTI, să convingem autoritățiile să mute focusul de pe angajații din sistem pe copiii din sistem. Sper să se țină de cuvânt, să majoreze indemnizațiile și să îmbunătățească condițiile de trai din sistem.

DaddyCool: De la un copil crescut în orfelinat, ai ajuns să fii parte importantă din Consiliul Tinerilor Instituționalizați și să faci o mulțime de evenimente dedicate copiilor din centrele de plasament. Ce te motivează în fiecare zi?

Andreas: Vreau să conectez copiii și tinerii din centre cu instituțiile care trebuie să își facă treaba în interesul superior al copilului! Vreau ca toți tinerii din sistem să își cunoască drepturile pentru a se apăra de cei care vor să le facă rău! Asta mă motivează!

DaddyCool: Dacă ai descrie viața și activitatea ta din prezent într-un singur cuvânt, care ar fi acela?

Andreas: Rollercoaster.

DaddyCool: Care e partea bună a voluntariatului și care este cea mai puțin bună?

Andreas: Partea bună este că înveți multe lucruri prin educație non-formală. Înveți să relaționezi cu oameni din întreaga lume, afli la ce ești bun și faci bine comunității din care faci parte.

Partea mai puțin bună este că sunt ONG-uri care se folosesc de voluntari pentru activități pentru care, în mod normal, ar trebui să plătești pe cineva.

„Conferința VREAU ACASĂ a fost un vis a devenit realitate! Anul trecut, la Baia Mare, am organizat acest eveniment, unde au participat peste 110 tineri și educatori din sistemul de protecție. Promit că la anul vor fi mai mulți tineri și instituții europene la masa discuțiilor.”

DaddyCool: Cât de mult ți-a schimbat voluntariatul percepția asupra vieții?

Andreas: Sunt Andreas de azi deoarece am făcut voluntariat încă de la 14 ani.

DaddyCool: Povestește-mi un episod care va rămâne pentru totdeauna în inima ta.

Andreas: Conferința „Vreau Acasă”. Un vis a devenit realitate! Anul trecut, la Baia Mare, am organizat acest eveniment, unde au participat peste 110 tineri și educatori din sistemul de protecție. La fel, organizații și instituții de stat, aflate într-un prim proces de dialog, structurat între tinerii instituționalizați și autoritățile statului. A fost o experiență foarte frumoasă, un stres teribil pentru organizare, dar a meritat!

Tinerii au spus ceea ce nu le place la sistem, am venit cu propuneri pentru îmbunătățire și au mai scăpat de frustrări și supărări. Au înțeles faptul că noi suntem aici ca să îi ascultăm și să îi ajutăm. Promit că la anul va fi mai bine, cu mai mulți tineri și instituții europene la masa discuțiilor. Îți mulțumesc pentru ajutor, ne-ai ajutat foarte mult!

„Nu am bani pentru tot ceea ce am nevoie, dar mă descurc. Nu mă plâng. Iubesc ceea ce fac!”

DaddyCool: Pentru nimic. Nu am făcut mare lucru, sincer. Sprijin cauzele în care cred. Cât de greu e să mobilizezi sponsorii și cum îi aduci alături de tine pentru a pune în practică toate proiectele gândite?

Andreas: Nu îmi este greu. Odată ce vrei să faci ceva, odată ce crezi atât de mult în ideea ta și crezi că ceea ce faci va avea impact asupra celor pentru care lucrezi, vin și resursele de care ai nevoie.

DaddyCool: Tu din ce te întreții?

Andreas: Bună întrebare, că tot vorbeam despre voluntariat. 🙂 Lucrez într-un proiect European. Sunt co-formator într-un curs care îi pregătește pe cei 120 de asistenți sociali și alți profesioniști din sistem să lucreze cu tinerii care vor părăsi sistemul și vor ieși din îngrijire. Îmi place ceea ce fac. Era să uit, din Decembrie 2018 lucrez în grupul de lucru al ONU pentru rezoluția ONU privind protecția copiilor fără părinți. Voi lucra cu ei pe parcursul anului 2019.

Mă descurc, nu mă plâng. Nu am bani pentru tot ceea ce am nevoie, dar iubesc ceea ce fac!

„Am regizat două filme de scurt-metraj, am fost producătorul unui film foarte reușit pentru antidrog și am regizat primul spectacol de teatru al departamentului de asistență socială din facultatea la care studiez.”

DaddyCool: Știu că ești pasionat de artă. Povestește-mi despre proiectele pe care le-ai făcut în acest sens.

Andreas: Am regizat două filme de scurt-metraj, am fost producătorul unui film foarte reușit pentru antidrog și am regizat primul spectacol de teatru al departamentului de asistență socială din facultatea la care studiez. A fost interesant să lucrez cu profesorii mei din facultate. Să le zic eu ce să facă! 😊 A ieși un spectacol chiar reusit!

Acum lucrez la un nou proiect, un spectacol de teatru pentru ziua mamei. Te invit cu drag la spectacol. Pregătesc alături de echipa mea a doua ediție a galei „MAMA” și alte proiecte culturale pentru tinerii din sistem.

DaddyCool: Voi fi acolo, mai ales că voi prezenta evenimentul. 🙂 Care este cel mai mare vis al tău?

Andreas: Visul meu este să înființez centre pentru dezvoltarea deprinderilor de viață independentă în cel puțin 6 județe din țară. Sunt sigur că voi reuși anul acesta! Am o echipă foarte bună în consiliul director și mă bucur că partenerii CTI ne sunt alături în demersurile noastre.

DaddyCool: Ce le-ai spune tuturor tinerilor care ar vrea să facă voluntariat? Le recomanzi sau nu experiența?

Andreas: DAAAA! Dacă vrei să te faci bine, dacă vrei să ajuți și să schimbi ceva în comunitatea ta, implicăt-e! Fă voluntariat.

DaddyCool: Cum ar putea oamenii să te ajute, dacă ar vrea să îți fie alături?

Andreas: Să mă contacteze la 0786 336 068 sau pe email la adresa andreas@consiliultinerilor.ro. Este mereu nevoie de ajutor!

Dacă vor să joace în spectacolul nostru de 8 martie, chiar avem nevoie de actori. 😊

ACADEMIA DE VOLUNTARIAT este un proiect editorial semnat DaddyCool, menit să aducă în fața voastră povești incredibile de viață, ale unor oameni de tot felul, care și-au dedicat o mare parte din timp (dacă nu chiar tot) copiilor din medii defavorizate, mediului, animalelor abandonate, mamelor victime ale violenței domestice, bătrânilor etc.

E un proiect cu planuri foarte mari de viitor și sper din suflet să vă inspire să alegeți acest drum pentru că VOLUNTARIATUL poate fi un mod de viață, o cale spre o viitoare carieră, o revelație, o menire.

De ce i-am spus ACADEMIE? Pentru că fiecare dintre oamenii pe care vi-i voi prezenta pe parcursul anului 2019 ne va preda o lecție frumoasă de empatie, de ajutor necondiționat, de bunătate. Toți vor fi un exemplu de la care vom avea multe de învățat, iar împreună vor forma ACADEMIA DE VOLUNTARIAT, locul în care se adună toți oamenii buni ca să facă lumea din jurul lor un loc un pic mai bun.

Vă invit să citiți și despre PROIECTELE MELE DE VOLUNTARIAT, CARITABILE, pe care le-am conceput sau în care m-am mai implicat!

Ne vedem pe Facebook și pe Instagram, unde v-am pregătit alte lucruri la fel de interesante, atât pe partea de PARENTING sau LIFESTYLE, cât și pe partea de TRAVEL!

Building My Adoption Support Team; Adele Rickerby

Posted on January 16, 2019February 25, 2023 by adelerickerby

Within one year of adopting a baby girl from an orphanage in Romania, after the revolution, my husband was living elsewhere and I was a single mother of two beautiful girls. This was the inevitable result of a dysfunctional relationship. One in which I did not have the support of my husband when adopting.

I travelled alone to Romania and back home again via Germany and New Zealand, where I needed to finalise the adoption of my daughter as a New Zealand citizen. My ex-husband did not finally meet his adopted daughter until I returned home to Cairns, Australia, two months after I had left. There were many opportunities for him to be involved, but, apart from playing his part with the paperwork during the adoption approval process, which took three and a half years, that was all he did.

It is imperative that couples support each other and travel together throughout thier adoption journey. Meeting your adopted child for the first time in thier country of origin, is an essential part of the initial and ongoing bonding process for both parents.

Feeling isolated and with no support where I was living, I sold the family home, packed up what remained of our belongings after a garage sale, and moved to Brisbane with my two daughters. Natasha, my adopted daughter had just turned one year old and my biological daughter, Melannie, had just turned seven years old.

After settling in to a rented house, I actively went about building my adoption support team. International Adoptive Families Association of Queensland, was an essential part of my support team. I was already a member, having joined the organisation at the beginning of the adoption approval process. During that time, I spoke with other I.A.F.Q. members over the phone and looked forwards to receiving thier regular newsletters, but had never met a member in person. I started attending regular ”chat and plays” with Natasha. These were held in the homes of I.A.F.Q members or Parks and Gardens around Brisbane.

It wasn’t long before I was asked to take on a more active role. I was asked if I would co-ordinate the first seminar on Intercountry Adoption, to be held in Brisbane, and subsequently co-ordinated two more. Coordinating the seminars provided me with the opportunity to become more actively involved in the adoption community.

”Our Country is Poor But Our Hearts Are Rich”, said my fellow train passenger, an engineer on his way to an early morning meeting in Bucharest. The sun was rising on a day full of hope and promise, after a nightmare journey, alone, across Germany, Austria, Hungary, and finally, Romania, on my way to adopt a baby girl. I had been thrown off the train at the border between Austria and Hungary by eight Hungarian soldiers with revolvers at their hips and one official. When, finally, I arrived at the Gara De Nord railway station, and after a lengthy wait, was met by Janet and Michaela, I was exhausted and relieved.

Janet and her husband were from Brisbane and were adopting a baby girl and a baby boy. We stayed together in Michaela’s house. When, eventually, I arrived in Brisbane, one of the first people whom I contacted was Janet. Another couple whom I had also met in Bucharest, Tina and Steve, were also from Brisbane and adopting a baby boy and thirteen months old girl. Tina and Steve arrived back in Brisbane after spending one year in thier original home country of England.

After the revolution, foreign journalists went into Romania and discovered approximately 100,000 abandoned babies and children living in horror institutions where they were neglected and abused. The New Zealand government established an adoption program with Romania and a group of New Zealand parents formed Intercountry Adoption New Zealand. New Zealand parents soon started arriving back from Romania with thier adopted children.

Narelle Walker, married to a New Zealand man whilst living in Brisbane and wanting to adopt, made enquiries and learnt that they could adopt from Romania as New Zealand citizens. Narelle and her husband were one of the first couples to travel to Romania. Narelle went to the media to tell her story. That’s how I learnt I could do the same.

Together, Narelle, Tina, Janet and myself formed the ”Eastern European Adoption Support Group”. Tina had a suitable home with a safe backyard with a fort-style cubby-house, a sandpit and a swing. There was a rumpus-room with lots of toys for rainy days. Soon, we were meeting every Thursday morning for playgroup. As a single mum with no family, this was another vital source of support for me. We still meet regularly, twenty-four years later.

In 2013, I wrote a short memoir; ” The Promise I Kept”, published by Memoirs Publishing in the U.K and available as a paperback from The Book Depository. It is also available to be downloaded as a kindle edition on Amazon. I followed this with my website; http://www.thepromisekept.co in which I publish articles about orphan advocacy and child welfare in Romania. I also have a community Facebook page of the same name.

This article, which I wrote, appeared in the July 2016 issue of ”Adoption Today” magazine.

Adele Rickerby

Alex Kuch; How International Adoption Changed My Life

Posted on January 14, 2019February 26, 2023 by adelerickerby